So we know that this blog is usually meant for my endeavors into the realm of writing romance novels, but an extremely good blog village sister of mine is having some tough times, and I felt compelled to write something.
See, she's been harassed for years by some really unsavory characters that are so preposterous that I wouldn't even put them in a book as antagonists. I prefer mine to be respectably intelligent, and I honestly don't know that I'm a good enough writer to write that dumb.
So anyway, I wanted to give her a little encouragement. When harassment and defamation gets that bad, sometimes the only way you can defend yourself without crossing the very lines that others have crossed to get to you, the law and courts have to get involved. I can't imagine how tough this is for you, but know that you are incredibly strong and I really admire you. I probably would have gone the route of using my words to insult them to the point where they came at me with torches and pitchforks. Not so bueno.
But I honestly don't know how much wisdom I can give you that hasn't already been given by your flabbergastingly amazing and supportive blog village. All those emails, and comments, and people coming over and being fantastically awesome...I can't compete. I can only say that whatever wisdom they brought to you, pick up the pearls that look pretty and make sense to you, and leave the rest.
Your friend is right. Some people just want to tear down anything that aspires to more than they are.
You see, some people...where they are is as far as they will ever go, and a part of them knows that. So people like you who go out and reach higher, and accomplish more, and do better show them --as far as they're concerned-- just how much they suck. They realize they will never go anywhere, do anything, and what they have is all they'll ever have.
They're afraid. Afraid of change, of growth, of effort...whatever it is, they're afraid. They refuse to face it, and tell themselves all manner of things to convince themselves that they like where they are, or that it's better than it really is, or whatever. Anything to avoid looking at the fact that they're scared. They're sad, small, pathetic life is all they will ever know, and a part of them knows that.
It's not even a new pathetic. It's a sad, old story of a sad old pathetic. Some dreamers and makers and shapers went out to seek their fortunes and create their worlds, while the ones who were too scared stayed behind on the boring old farm and never got out of their podunk little village. See?
The fact that you are not content to settle and always challenge yourself...see, to them, you have already provoked them. I'm not blaming you. They are, though, but their choices in life have nothing to do with you. You are a painful, loud, and unavoidable reminder of just how sad, afraid, and stuck they are. You are an example of everything they will never be nor have. And in comparison, they cannot escape looking at just how much their life sucks.
You have the courage to say "Yes!" and accomplish greatness, and they...well, they're too scared to get out and drive a damn car, for chrissakes.
So, my lovely, don't waste your tremendous and world-changing energy being angry at them, venting --even to your bestest friends-- vitriol and resentment, name-calling, or frustration. The sad and pathetic who will never amount to anything don't deserve your scorn. Those poor things will never see the kind of world you see, nor will they experience the kind of wonder, love, accomplishment, pride, or joy that you do. But they're not to be pitied, either. Honor their path. They've chosen the harder road: the road of short-sighted and fucktastic ignominy of patheticness.
By all means, protect yourself from their toxic dysfunction. You've taken the first steps by filing charges and hiring your attorney. Now that the worldly steps have been taken, guide your thoughts. Every spark of energy you give to them is energy you give to their hostility in your life. "They're such shits! They're doing X, Y, and Z to me!"
The Universe hears and answers, remember. Like a genie granting wishes. "You're right!" it says. "They are!" And it gives you more of the same.
"I hate them! I'm so angry and it's interfering with my life!"
"Okay!" sayeth the Universe. "They're interfering! More interference, coming right up!"
If you must, focus on how awesome your lawyer is and how he's going to help you bring justice to the whole situation. Focus instead on gratitude for the advertisers who have stuck by you, for all the people who support you, for your wonderful hatchling who's so fucking amazing she's proof on two legs that you're a bombastic single mama badass.
Don't let them drag you away from your awesomelicious, rocktastic funkorama. Focus instead on dreaming up your greatest vision of the awesomest version of You, and then go and make that happen. Do only that.
Reach higher. Dream bigger. Do better. Be gratefuller. Be confident. Practice gratitude mindfulness as you focus on the important things: hatchling, school (congrats, woman!), blog, business, family and friends.
And remember, don't waste your time on people --any people-- who drag you down. Family isn't blood. Family is choice. And you are free to graft as many loved ones onto your family tree as deserve it. And prune as many off, too. Honor them, bless them as they go, then use their sorry carcasses as mulch for your awesome, patchwork family tree made up of people who are family because they choose to be.
Because everything, after all, is a choice.